It’s #WIPpet Wednesday again!
The purpose ofK.L,Schwengel’s brainchild is to encourage writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.
WIPpet NaNo Math:
Today is November 20, 2013.
- For today’s offering, ….yeah, well. I’m going to ‘fess up. There is no math – I’m NaNo-mad, and numbers aren’t cooperating. So there it is…I’m a WIPpet rebel! =)
During November, I offer my brand-spanking new for NaNo 2013 Trueborn Warp series Star Trek fan fiction WIP, King of Shreds and Patches.
Here’s the logline I’ve created for it:
Spock and an enigmatic woman from a troubled time in his past struggle to save two worlds from alien threats, neither knowing whether their renewed connection will bring salvation or devastation.
Since there are four point of view characters in this WIP, and four weeks, I will be sharing a snippet of each character’s opening scene – a bit I think speaks to where they are at the beginning of things.
This week, we visit with Amanda, Spock’s human mother, who has not heard from her son in over four years…until this moment.
This WIP deals with the time frame and events covered in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. For those who want a context within the Trueborn double series, these events take place before Spock discovers whether his T’Lys is real, or a childhood dream he’s expanded on over the years.
It’s the companion volume to Sima Garo Provides (Trueborn Weft Series), original fantasy.
This rough-draft passage is lightly edited to remove obvious gaffes and for style.
Enjoy!
“Were you expecting a call, my wife?”
She didn’t answer. She was already up and on her way. Anything had to be better than sitting here with him, trying to pretend that he didn’t seem such a stranger, this morning, and this life some facsimile of a real one.
Saved by the bell, she thought – and then she saw the coded name of the caller, and her heart began to pound as she stared at the screen, unable to move to engage it.
Was this goodbye – finally, and irrevocably? Why would he call now, though, when he hadn’t contacted a single one of his associates in all the intervening years? Or had he finally learned what she had always known – that to attempt to eradicate his emotions was to eradicate himself?
She wasn’t going to get the answer by staring at his name on the screen.
Amanda took three deep breaths – or meant to. Halfway through the second, her hand darted out and engaged the screen –
And she gasped at what she saw, half-falling into the chair, her knees no longer willing to hold her weight.
“Spock!”
The man on the other end of the transmission jumped at the sound of her voice, eyes wild, bloodshot, and white-rimmed in a gaunt and masklike face.
He was filthy. His long hair was tangled and matted, he hadn’t shaved, and he was shirtless, his chest smeared with what looked like caked blood and sand. He was not so much breathing as he was panting, a sharp,ragged sound in the quiet of the room. He stared at her, or through her. The time upon the Forge, and away from humans, showed in the intensity of that stare. It made her deeply uneasy – he neither blinked not gave any cue that he recognized her – but she determined that she would not look away unless he did, first…something in her that had been too long asleep was waking, and it said that she must not reject him, in this moment, or all would be lost.
She was aware of Sarek, behind her, out of view of the screen. But she held to her son’s wild stare; her husband knew well how to care for himself, but this man before her seemed more lost than anyone she had ever seen.
Amanda was terrified.
Finally, in a raping, halting voice – a voice that seemed to have forgotten how to speak, Spock said, “Qu’al se tu, Amanda?”
“Yes, it’s me, Spock.” But that didn’t shift his stare, or his panting, and she added, “It’s Mother, son.”
“Mother….” He seemed almost not to recognize the word – but he had always known it, and in Standard. “No….I have none.”
Behind her, Sarek made a small, surprised intake of breath, hearing the echo of his own words from this ruin of a man who had once been their son.
There we have it – a mother and a son, and, in the shadowy background of things, a father. Why has Spock called? Will Amanda be able to help him find himself again? Why does he think he has no mother?
No, I’m not telling you – not yet. I’m still writing it, and I want you all curious and eager when I come back! =D
And stay tuned for December, too, when I will be offering a bit of a holiday treat – each week, YOU will get to pick the WIP, and the POV character!
And here’s a song that seems to fit, and which holds deep personal meaning to me. So, for Amanda and Spock, and in remembrance of a man named Tim, I offer…
And now – release the comment hounds ! =)
Want more WIPpets? Click the cute little blue froggy to read what other #WIPpeteers are writing, or to join in yourself! We love new folks, around here!
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kathils
November 21, 2013 at 10:58 am
Holy crap, I’m breathless by the end of this one. And when he says he has no mother . . . knife through the heart. The beginning had me a tad confused and I admit I had to read it twice to get my bearings, but that could just be because it was out of context.
shanjeniah
November 22, 2013 at 8:59 am
Kathi,
Spock has had a helluva time of it, lately, for sure. And Amanda is his mother, whether he can believe that or not, and she can see better than he can, right now.
I wanted to share more of the beginning – a conversation between the spouses that bears fruit later on – but it was way too long to
inflict onshare as a WIPpet. Hopefully, with the whole prelude, this will seem to segue much more smoothly.Breathless, eh? *BWG*. Oh, goody. Knife through the heart? *rubs hands together, chortling with writerly glee* Mission accomplished! =)
Eden
November 21, 2013 at 3:05 pm
I suspect even Sarek has realized some of the wrongness of his son’s course by this point. Very strong piece, Shan.
shanjeniah
November 22, 2013 at 8:55 am
Sys,
I think he gets hint of it here. Some of the following scenes quite literally drive it home more obviously…but can he overcome his Vulcanness and his own illogical attitudes to help his son…? That, we’ll have to see about.
I really enjoyed this piece. If it hadn’t been so long, I would have shared more of the conversation between Sarek and Amanda that preceded this snippet.
And thank you….
*Practices the type of curtsy Kaitiiraan demanded*
Eden
November 22, 2013 at 6:38 pm
It would be interesting to see more of the ‘behind the scenes’ story for this…
And never feel obliged to do that curtsy (at least not to me). I know the memories that it is laced with.
shanjeniah
November 30, 2013 at 6:34 am
Since you weren’t the only one who wanted more of this, I will probably oblige, in the next few weeks. tehre was a lot more going on in that scene than the snippet shows!
Eden
December 3, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Whichever you choose will be great, but more is always neat. 🙂
ReGi McClain
November 22, 2013 at 3:25 am
Oh, poor Spock. He causes himself so much misery trying to be something he’s not. 😦
shanjeniah
November 22, 2013 at 4:56 am
ReGi,
Yes, he does indeed. For entirely too long to be remotely logical. How he ever thought that he could just lobotomize the human out, I really don’t know….but now, he’s starting to find out that it just plain isn’t that easy – or that hard.