I’ve taken a bit of a breather from the revision process, the last couple of days – because I’m learning how to use my brand-new computer! I haven’t added Scrivener yet – Eden Mabee bought me the program as a gift a few years back, and there was a bit of a licensing tangle-up. I hope to get it set up later tonight or tomorrow; I’m eager to get back to it, and finish up on my fancy new machine…I’m thinking that the tablet and touchscreen features may really help in the process…I’ll let you know, after I play a little…
I’m moving through the novel in a non-linear fashion, for this pass, so my WIPpets are bouncing around. This week, I’m offering a snippet from Tisira’s point-of-view. This is a new scene, and takes place just before the accident that causes her amnesia, which I’ve shared in these previous posts:
As the revision progresses, Tisira and Henry seem to be telling me they’re older than they were in the rough draft. I’ll be paying attention as I move through this first revision pass –
And you can help!
Do you have a sense of these two characters’ ages? How old do they seem?
There will be some variance – for different cultural norms, and taking into account that Tisira isn’t human; but it will be very helpful to know what age impressions others are getting from the story…any and all input, so long as it’s considerate, is valued!
And now, on to the WIPpeting!
Today is March 19, 2014.
- Today’s math is a bit tricky…
- 19 (for the date) -3 (for the month)=16; 2+0+1 (the first three digits of the year) = 3; 4(the last digit of the year)-3 (the previous total)=1; (16 (first total)+1 (the third total)=17
- Voila! 17 sentences!
I reached up on my toes, pressing into him, ever more tightly. He tensed, as if to pull back, as if to hide his body from me, in shame –
“Don’t,” I whispered. “Let me feel you.”
“We are too young- it be a sin – ”
“For bodies to do what they will, Henry? How can that be wrong, or we too young, if we feel it?”
He seemed to have no answer, and our wanting was a live thing, between us, binding us. I wanted all – he wanted to resist, but could not. His lips pressed into mine, and my mouth opened for him, sharing breath, sharing life…
It felt as nothing we had known, as though we could drown in one another – and, within me, there was another awakening – one of heat and minerals, reminding me of the desert, and of Father…
But I wanted Father not, now.
All was Henry, his eyes wide and surprised, but also bright with wanting and dawning joy.
Our hands were like wild birds, now, upon one another, greedy to taste the first shoots of spring. Every touch awoke new flamelets, and sharpened breath, until we moved to a single rhythm, breathed as one, and the dancing held us in thrall –
“What be you about?!”
A woman’s shrieking voice, piercing the weaving of our dancing, shearing through our sharing –
What led up to this moment? Who is the shrieking woman? What will happen next?
Stop by next week…I can’t promise answers, but I can promise more questions! =)
For this week, I offer a sweetly evocative song that may well have inspired this scene…I had never seen this video before, but it feels perfect!