It’s #WIPpet Wednesday !
K.L,Schwengel’s brainchild encourages writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.
WIPpet Math:
Today is December 4, 2013.
- I added the month and the date: 12+4=16 paragraphs, post-NaNo edited.
Nobosy offered a favorite WIP for this WIPpet, so here’s more of my Trueborn Warp series Star Trek fan fiction, King of Shreds and Patches:
Spock and an enigmatic woman from a troubled time in his past struggle to save two worlds from alien threats, neither knowing whether their renewed connection will bring salvation or devastation.
We find Spock, kneeling upon the sands of Gol, cast away by the Kolinahru he hoped to join. This scene occurs before Amanda’s snippet, Prodigal Son.
This WIP is set in the time frame of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Within the Trueborn double series, this WIP occurs before Spock discovers whether T’Lys is real, or a childhood delusion carried into adulthood. It’s the companion volume to Sima Garo Provides (Trueborn Weft Series), original fantasy.
I held the symbol of Kolinahr, cast upon the sands as I had thought my emotions to be. I caressed it, craving touch, craving T’Lys, craving the solace of the entity’s pure, layered, logic. Craving, too, the promise of nothingness Gol had offered – and which I had, in a single motion, rejected.
I had not known that I would lift my hand, and deny myself the peace, the prison, of Kolinahr, until I felt it lifting. I’d spent the threeday between alone upon the Forge, meditating, sobbing when I could not resist, but not allowing myself the pleasures of self-gratification – something within me was far too open, too yearning. I feared that, if I gave myself to those primal impulses, even once, I would not be able to stop short of giving myself over in another lifebond with T’Lys….
And still, I did not know if she was real, and had no way to ascertain it, unless I could find her…
I considered that course of action, considered leaving Gol and procuring a shuttle (how I would accomplish this, I knew not; I had released all my resources and holdings to others before joining the retreat here), and simply traveling in the direction that led to her….until I found her, ran out of fuel, or died. I was not certain that I cared which…
When I found myself running toward ShiKahr and its spaceport at midday, I knew that I had not attained Kolinahr, that I had only been hiding my emotions, even from myself. There was no logic in that, either…
I went back to the desert just beyond Gol, where I would not be seen, and turned to the entity again, away from T’Lys and the enticing chaos she had so often brought me.
But, “Sima garo provides,” she whispered, as I left her. Even in this, she inflamed my imagination, kept a part of me to herself, would not release me.
Then, as now. I was still unsure whether I had lifted my hand, or if she had – but the result was the same. I had made the staying gesture, and that invited the touch of the Master’s mind. Had I been seeking that out, all along – another mind to touch, to connect myself to? After so much separation, and isolation, could it truly be so simple as that I needed that connection, to something or someone? To anything or anyone, indiscriminately?
When she had touched my mind – it shamed me to remember, but there was no logic in that, nor in attempting to forget what was etched within memory; etched in flame – when she touched my mind, I responded first as a male, surging toward what was female within her, my telerotic centers, so open and filled with T’Lys, seeking hers, offering, pleading for her to see me only as a male – a male who wanted her, wanted to touch, to pleasure, to claim, to dance, to find the bliss of Attunement.
For a moment, she responded, and there was shock in it for both of us….we almost gave in to it, to the searing, surging power of it…
“No, Spock. I am not what you need.” Still, despite her words, she did not withdraw, instead offering soothing touches to the inflamed parts of my mind and my soul.
“In this breath, you are All.” But it was untrue, even now, and I knew it, knew that she knew it even before she spoke again.
“And what of the next? No. She is writ large in your soul; thee cannot escape such connection, such passion. Perhaps, it was madness to try.” She urged me to the place where T’Lys, cloaked in flames and truth, waited, Huntress-still.
The Master spoke aloud now, her words for the attendants, but all was gibberish. She eased away from my mind, gently, but firmly, leaving the heat of desire to scorch only me, alone…
The Kolinahru turned, and left me. There was neither unkindness nor kindness in it; I had failed, and this was no longer my place. It remained unsaid, but I knew – I would not be welcomed here again.
I dropped the symbol of the newly accepted Kolinahru adept, and rose from my knees. I began to walk, to the only place that I still knew would accept me – because there was no one there to refuse me. It was a two day’s walk…perhaps, time to find myself amongst the flood of feelings, but, certainly, a refuge where I could hide myself.
I felt it. I knew that this was only the harbinger. Emotion was a tightly knotted tangle within me, a heaviness, but I could feel it loosening, swelling toward eruption, and I no longer thought I had any control over it.
There we have it – a man on the verge of crisis. Will he find a direction, or connection? Will he survive his explosive emotions? What will he choose?
For December, pick the WIP, and POV character! If you have a favorite, don’t be shy! Someone decides, and it could be you! This WIP is the default.
This seems to catch the mood of Spock’s conflict….
Want more WIPpets? Click the cute little blue froggy to read and/or join in yourself!
Related articles
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- WIPpet Wednesday: Hollow Awakening (shanjeniahstruebornjottings.wordpress.com)
- WIPpet Wednesday: Prodigal Son (shanjeniahstruebornjottings.wordpress.com)
- WIPpet Wednesday: There’s a Thing Out There! (shanjeniahstruebornjottings.wordpress.com)
- WIPpet Wednesday: Proxy Possibility (shanjeniahstruebornjottings.wordpress.com)
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- WIPpet Wednesday: Defining Moment (gweberblog.wordpress.com)
- Weaving Prose and Deeper Peace; NaNoROW Update, 11/6/13 (shanjeniah.com)
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kathils
December 5, 2013 at 12:44 am
I love this, “.until I found her, ran out of fuel, or died. I was not certain that I cared which…” Such a sense of forlornness, of being beyond emotion. I have to admit though, this piece lost me in parts. It’s very ethereal and spiritual in a way, but I lose track of the ‘she’s.
shanjeniah
December 12, 2013 at 4:28 am
Kathi,
Sorry it took so long to get to this comment – I was away for the weekend, and am just getting caught up again. I can see what you mean about the ‘she’s’ though – I guess I’ll need to be ironing them out if I don’t want to stand behind people’s shoulders and explain which she is which!
So the mission – keep the mood, lose the confusion! =D
Eden
December 5, 2013 at 7:15 pm
There is a lot going on in this piece, Shan, but (though I did figure out on a second reading the ‘she’s) I felt like you were trying to fit everything in here. It’s all head, no sense of texture or place… No sense of the man, just the mind (that curse we both have sometime of voices in the clouds), and I just couldn’t connect with it. Maybe because of the muddled feelings being so socially distant to my own, maybe because of the lack of imagery, unsure of which. Maybe even because it’s clear that Spock is considering several memories at once…
Just my (skewed) perspective.
shanjeniah
December 12, 2013 at 4:37 am
Eden,
Ah, to have someone who knows me and my stories so well! =D
You’re right. This is a busy, chaotic scene for Spock, and I’m not sure if he’s really aware of time and place in a normal sense. There’s also that poorly negotiated flashback…
Still, you’re right. I’ve been better with the detail, overall, but sometimes I still regress. Especially during 122K word NaNos, apparently! 😉
Eden
December 12, 2013 at 2:51 pm
We execute our best developed habits to their fullest during NaNos. Fixing the lacks is what second drafts are for. 😀
shanjeniah
December 14, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Eden,
Second drafts, third drafts, fourth drafts…but who’s counting!? ;D
I’m finding that I have even more of that going on with the double series. Some bits contradict the other volume, or introduce new things, or bend the timeline. I’m figuring that every revision will bring the two stories closer to lining up for the interweaving, but I can see already that there will need to be a lot of tinkering and futzing with this or that along the way.
On the plus side, I think I have hit upon the style of planning and drafting that works best for me now. I will be tweaking that as I go along, but I have a feeling that my future rough drafts will need less overhauling, by far, than the current crop of completed drafts(except for KOSAP) will…
Time will tell, but I do know there was less wandering, and a lot more cohesion, in this NaNo effort…and, despite this scene, more sketched in detail, overall.
Most importantly, I had a great time writing it! =D
Eden
December 18, 2013 at 6:21 pm
I noticed the same thing as I was working on Swan Song and Release at the same time (and the fanfictions). Introducing a new character or idea in one has the chance of requiring a several chapter rewrite in the other, but in the end, I think the stories are richer for the effort.
It’s hell on deadlines though.
BTW, the best part of this comment was (of course) the last line. Though the other parts of how you’re developing a new process are cool too.
shanjeniah
December 23, 2013 at 9:31 pm
Eden,
I totally agree. Henry, who was just going to be an incidental character to shake things up, turned out to be the male protagonist I didn’t even know Chameleon’s Dish was going to have a male protagonist!
And he will have a place, more than likely, in other parts of the series.
Since all the stories are in first draft or pre-editing status, and the only deadlines I have right now are self-imposed, I can deal with characters who mess with my schedule and make the story far better!
You’ll be getting even more Henry and Tisira for your birthday post, ’cause I love you! =D
Eden
December 23, 2013 at 11:59 pm
It will be interesting to see how you fit Henry in other pieces of the story. Not saying he can’t fit, but… well, it’ll be interesting.
Thank you, thank you! Squee!
kathils
December 12, 2013 at 11:06 am
“All head” I like that. I’ve been guilty of that. Moreso of ‘white room syndrom’.
Eden
December 12, 2013 at 2:41 pm
It’s one of my biggest flaws, Kathi. And oddly enough, it’s also the thing I see the most in other people’s writing…
ReGi McClain
December 7, 2013 at 5:16 am
*shudder* This one gives me the heebie-jeebies. Not what you were going for, I think, but how it worked out in my mind. The last paragraph in particular, where he knows he is standing on the edge of what surely would feel like insanity to a Vulcan, part-human or not. Poor, poor Spock! On so many levels in this excerpt.
shanjeniah
December 12, 2013 at 4:45 am
ReGi,
Heebie-jeebies are good…the end of the scene definitely goes that way. It’s all-out madness in an unmistakable package. I’m not sure he would term it ‘heebie-jeebies’, but Spock is about to scare himself with what’s within him.
ReGi McClain
December 13, 2013 at 4:08 am
*shudder*
shanjeniah
December 14, 2013 at 8:18 pm
ReGi,
*shudder* indeed. Those who were a little queasy at Tisira’s penchant for raw meat were NOT going to abide the end of this scene well, so I didn’t share it here. I had no idea that Spock was going to do what he did next!
ReGi McClain
December 14, 2013 at 9:53 pm
It can be both irritating and amazing, when your characters pull out their own wills. 😛 I had one supposed-to-be-headstrong girl turn out to be a hopeless romantic, a little woosy, even. But, it worked much better for the story in the long run. 🙂