Hi there! Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday –K.L. Schwengel’s weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.
It’s been a rough last couple of days – I’ve been more or less out of commission. Fortunately, I’m well on the mend today – but also very busy with catch-up – I’ve got unanswered comments from last week, plotting and revising, and, oh, the hometending that didn’t happen these last days…
That being said, I did attain my 60 hour goal for the month, and move a little beyond it!
Today, we have more of Chameleon’s Dish, (Trueborn Weft Series), companion volume to Bounded by a Nutshell (Trueborn Warp series Star Trek fan fiction):
Updated logline:
In the dangerously superstitious past of Shakespeare’s England, an amnesiac girl and a foundling boy must keep her strange nature hidden as they stalk the Bard’s words on the trail of her lost identity.
I’m still in the middle of the rewrite of Scene 8/60 (Nockatee’s Black Moment). Today’s offering will be rough and a little disheveled…but, trust me, it’s better than the rough draft of this scene, which delved deep into fanfic country, although this is intended to be original fantasy…
The setup:
Nockatee is hiding in the heavens, up under the thatched roof of the Globe Theatre. She and Henry have just avoided danger and detection outside the theatre, and now there is a new threat inside – Kirana, Tisira’s twin. With her here, Tisira rises within Nockatee, threatening her very self…for reference, these events occur shortly before those in my previous WIPpet,Burning Desperation.
And now, on to the WIPpeting!
WIPpet Math:
Today is March 26, 2014.
- Today’s math is a bit tricky…
- 26(for the date) -3 (for the month)=23; 23-7 (for the digits of the year, added)=17; 17+2 (for Tisira and Nockatee, sharing one body)=19
- Voila! 19 sentences!
The prologue went on, but I – I felt that first line echoing within me. Aye. This was as that. I must claim my own life, my own self. Tisira was near, and as fine a Huntress as I, mayhap better. She would take my life as her prey, if she were able, turn me again to her will, as though I had never been.
Nay, I would not allow it!
“I am Nockatee, and not your Tisira.” That was a certainty I could hold to, as solid as the ledge I crouched upon – a weapon against my twin; against that other piece of myself. My eyes scanned the crowd – it was a fine day, and all the town, it seemed, had come out to see the Kings’ Men. Too many hats, too many colors, too many faces…
I could feel her, with my mind, and, dimly, held cased like an ember within her – “Father!”
“Yes, sister. He is within me, and Mother, too – will you not remember, and return?”
Bait! Father made himself bait, to tempt me, to bring me to him, to keep me near him in his madness – but what of Henry? It was Tisira Father wanted; Tisira who was his companion. I, Nockatee, wife of Henry, knew him only thus – through dreams, and memories, and held within the mind of my – nay, Tisira’s – twin.
Only a foolish Huntress would walk into such a trap.
Will Tisira succeed in overtaking Nockatee? Will Father spring his trap? And what of Nockatee, and Henry? Will their love survive in spite of the escalating threats? Can Nockatee hang onto her self, even with this proof of her former life?
Stop by next week…I can’t promise answers to any of these questions, but I can promise new ones! =)
Want more WIPpets?
The play being performed when the Globe caught fire on 29 June 1613 was Henry VIII. A nifty detail – I married a man who looks remarkably like the randy old monarch…happily, our firstborn was a son, and I’m the faithful type…so my neck is safe.
Still, I can’t think of Henry without thinking, “Horrible Histories!”
Trueborn Jottings 
ReGi McClain
I love Horrible Histories. 🙂
I like this scene. It’s very interesting. My personal phone stalker at the psych hospital where I worked for a couple years was a dissociative. I’m not sure that’s quite what you’re going for here, but it has that flavor. I’d really like to see the resolution to this particular conflict. 🙂
shanjeniah
Horrible histories rock. The kids and I laughed so hard the first time we saw this one; it’s still my favorite.
Dissociative – yes, that’s close to the vibe I was going for. Nockatee’s been living as herself for months, with Tisira emerging, more and more with the memories she’s regaining. But she’s afraid that she’ll get swallowed up and erased if she relaxes and lets Tisira take over.
I’m pretty eager to see how this one gets resolved, too – I neglected this subplot and conflict in the rough draft, so it will certainly evolve during the revision process.
ReGi McClain
I think that will be great fun to explore. I haven’t ever done anything with the idea of dissociative. I just like to read other people’s writing about it. 🙂
shanjeniah
ReGi,
I’ve been fascinated by the workings of the mind since I was 9 or so…so this will be a really cool aspect for me to explore. =)
Eden
The flow here was a bit hard to follow, but no so much with the intro you offered us. I suspect it will read well in context. It’s almost painful to imagine Nockatee being lost so. And yet… can she not feel some sympathy for Kirana and their parents for what they lost?
shanjeniah
Sys,
I agree it’s a bit confusing – I posted it midway through the revision. I’ll be ironing it out as I move through the process. I’m glad the intro worked, since that’s the type of info the revised draft will hopefully express more naturally.
No, at this moment, she’s not feeling sympathy. She’s in danger of losing her self – for the second time – and her entire life. These peope are strangers to her, personally, and now they threaten her life and love. More, if she gets out of this crisis, there’s still the chance of danger outside the theatre.
What she feels most strongly is that she’s under attack, no matter what, that maybe there is no safe place. She might feel compassion later, if she can get to a place where she feels more secure, but she’s not feeling it now – now, it’s all about surviving.
Eden
Oh, I get that. It’s myself, as a disconnected reader, who sees more of the whole picture… In that sense, I have to wonder when this point will happen. And I needed to note it, because I wasn’t sensing the need for survival. She’s too “aware” of the struggle in a literary sense…. It’s not action, it’s mental. And I get this feeling that it can’t be that desperate a situation since she “has the luxury” to think so much about what is happening.
(just trying to give you my perceptions as a reader, hope it helps in some way, but know it could be completely useless)