It’s #WIPpet Wednesday again!
The purpose of K.L,Schwengel’s brainchild is to encourage writers to move their WIPs to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.
Until July, I will be posting excerpts from two of my Trueborn WIPs (works-in-progress);
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Chameleon’s Dish, a Trueborn Weft Series fantasy novel.
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Bounded by a Nutshell, a Trueborn Warp SeriesStar Trek fan fiction novel.
These two series are interwoven. The plan is to offer the Warp Series fan fiction freely, and eventually publish the original fantasy Weft Series for sale.
This week, I offer twenty-two paragraphs from Bounded by a Nutshell. Spock, who is now the Vulcan Ambassador, and his wife, Niaan, have three children – twin daughters, Tisira and Kirana, who are nearly six, and a newborn son, Seth.
Tisira has been caught in the beam of an experimental time travel device as she slept in her father’s office at the Vulcan Science Academy. There is no way to tell where she has been sent, or when.
Niaan, a strong telepath at the locus of a network that spans her homeworld, can still sense her daughter, as can Kirana.
Spock, though, can only sense her through his wife and daughter, and this has propelled him prematurely into the earliest stages of pon farr, the mating madness that all adult Vulcans experience…
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There had been the frenzy of his rutmadness for a time, all fire and madness and clutching, seizing release. Spock was as fierce as she had long ago named him, and he took her as his birthright, because she was his bondmate.
Then, slowly, it had eased, as the spike in eropsitone leveled off, as the tension and fear of the last hours, which he had tried to suppress in the manner of his Vulcan nature, exploded from him in the manner of his human nature.
His panting and grunting claiming, so akin to her animal nature, subsided into languorous touches, his fingers trailing over her skin, tasting her bioelectric pulses in a way she knew brought him deep pleasure and comfort.
“This was not how I wished to resume Souldance with thee, my own,” he said, finally, when the ability to speak had returned to him. “I wished it to be – tender, to speak what is within my soul for thee.”
“It was time – before Tisira was lost. I was waiting only for the moment when you were not otherwise occupied, and when Seth would not miss us – and I delight in your fierceness as much as your tenderness.”
Suddenly, with the mention of their son, her milk let down, spraying the bedding.
He brushed her face with the backs of his paired fingers. “It is time to rejoin the rest of life, my own.”
“You aren’t yet ready, fierce one. Kiral Leonard made it clear that you need to tend to this, to give yourself the most time-“
“Seth has need of you, my own, and you of him – and I have need to see that he is well.”
It wasn’t a thing to be denied, even if she were not leaking. He could feel Seth’s need, as she could, and his ears were even keener than her own. He could surely hear that Seth was fussing.
“Kirana, though, will play happily a time longer. Rachyl will bring Seth, and he will nurse and sleep while we tend to all of our needs. Including yours, my husband.”
She had used the tone Kaitiiraan had used to order about all those around her, laced with the tone Tacivaar had used to command the Pride. She had both tones honestly, as her birthright – and with them, the state of mind that would not be argued with – not even by him, not even now.
“While he nurses?” He, in the way he had from his own parents, did not argue, but the question was not consent, either.
“It can be done so that he will not be disturbed by Matehunt, fierce one – now that your fires have been sated to coals, you will be able to be gentle, and the pleasure will be his, too, in a way that will soothe and comfort him.”
“You are quite certain?”
She smiled at his seriousness. “I am his mother, and your bondmate. I could not mistake his response, and I would not lie to you.” She ruffled his shining hair, and brushed the backs of two fingers delicately down his cheek. “Besides, Rachyl is already on her way.”
It was just then that the doorchime sounded With a quiet sigh of resignation, but still not outright consent, he said, “Come, Rachyl,” and sat up, gathering her with him, settling her to lean against him. “I have missed thee, my wife.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, as Rachyl came through the door, their son in her arms. His fussing had shifted to the spluttering beginnings of crying.
It’s an open invitation!
“I gave him some milk,” Rachyl said, “and changed him. But now, he wants to nurse, and be with you two.”
“Thank you, Rachyl,” he said, somewhat formally, as Jeniah took Seth carefully from her sister. “You will signal, when Kirana decides to rejoin us.”
Seth’s small and tense body relaxed into hers as soon as she drew him to her, and his mind quieted. Her stared up at them both for a breath, smiled, then began to root for the breast.
Spock’s body and mind, too, relaxed as Seth took the nipple and began to suckle in powerful gulps. He was nursing so frantically, he gagged, pulled away, fussed, then grabbed the nipple again, almost as though he were Hunting it – and again pulled away, spluttering.
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Comments? Questions? Observations? I love feedback! Drop it in the comment receptacle below – and click on the button below to read more great excerpts from other #WIPpeteers!
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ReGi McClain
I like the bit about missing each other. Being parents, even if you’re together often, can certainly produce a distance of busy-ness. However, the nursing during sex suggestion is too edgy for me even though I’m very pro-breastfeeding (and relatively experienced). I think it could be a major turn-off for a large number of readers. The milk letting-down and frantic nursing add a nice realistic touch that gets left out of most novels that involve babies. They also have great potential for comic relief if you happen to feel it would fit with or enhance the overall tone.
shanjeniah
ReGi,
I tried to reply to your comment – twice!- earlier this week, and WordPress decided to be a pip and delete me!
Honestly, that sex during nursing bit was a little edgy for me (it was Niaan’s idea, and she has VERY different sensibilities about sex than I do, in general…she comes from a race with very few sexual taboos. I don’t.
But your comment spawned another idea…there is a telerotic element to this pairing, and a type of sharing that goes far beyond the physical. Now I’m thinking that that would be a better resolution, at this point, to the conflicting needs of father and son…
And I really hadn’t thought of the milk geyser as a place for humor, although it certainly was for me, personally, as I shot milk across the room with the force of a lawn sprinkler! =)
I’m so glad you took the time to comment, because you opened me up to ways of seeing this scene that will make it far better – without losing any of that building tension that becomes a pivotal force throughout the novel (this is an early scene).
ReGi McClain
Ah… those sprinkler moments. Fond memories. 🙂 I like Star Trek, but I’m not what you’d call a true fan, so I didn’t know about Niaan’s origins. I’m glad my comments were a little helpful given my deficient Star Trek smarts. 🙂
shanjeniah
ReGi,
Niaan isn’t a trek character; she’s mine. She is a Trueborn Tacivaarii Huntress, and she will appear in most of what I post.
Three decades ago, I knew that Spock needed a bondmate who could match (and sometimes outmatch) him. she and her world grew from that, and because Eden Mabee and I were often bored in high school….
Perhaps you’ll pick up some new Trek information along the way – occasionally useful when watching Jeopardy! =)
I’m pondering how to add in a moment of sprinkler levity in this scene… 😉
Emily Witt
In my limited exploration of ST fan fiction, I often found anything written from Spock’s POV (whether 3rd person limited or 1st person) always somewhat failed to capture him properly, but I don’t find that with this excerpt. The language is very… “Vulcan” for want of a better term, I could certainly see this playing out.
shanjeniah
Emily,
Thank you for saying that! It is extremely important to me that I honor Spock’s integrity. he fascinates me, and has for more than three decades, now…longer than I’ve known that round-eared guy I married! =)
I struggled for years with writing his sex scenes, because none of the terminology humans use seems to fit. finally,I realized that his sexuality can’t be like ours, and that Vulcans would have their own (very private) terminology.
That made it a lot easier…but only in the last few months have I become more comfortable slipping inside his skin and that formidable, fascinating mind, and writing him from the first person. I have to say, it’s an exciting challenge!
I hope you will also enjoy the future installments of this story!
Eden
I can see the scene, though I’ll be honest and say that emotionally I don’t feel involved with it.. I did think that Seth’s nursing was done well (of course, there is plenty of first hand experience to use there as a reference) and added a lot to the scene. I do wonder, and this is just me… why does it have to involve pon farr?
I mean, yes, you can write a scenario where it would “just have to be that way” but then again, you could also write a scenario where it “just can’t be that way”. It’s a choice you made in the writing, but does it actually add to the main plot, or would the story be just as strong (or perhaps stronger) for knowing that Spock was having a different issue… perhaps the issue of repressing the mating drive in his need to ensure his daughter’s safety?
Just a thought. It’s rather something that occurred to me after reading Ruth Nestvold’s book…. And it could just be me.
shanjeniah
Sys,
I think this is one of those times where it would really help to have the backstory, so I’ll try to summarize it here, and, if we can ever manage to get to the Y at the same time again, you can ask away, or, later this year, I will be looking beta readers (THUD!).
Okay, so it goes like this.
It’s less a matter of Tisira’s safety, at this point. Both niaan and Kirana can sense her, using the Huntthread, and know that she is safe and in wilderness…which might be a problem for many children, but Tisira has already passed her Kahswan on Vulcan’s Forge (more, maybe, on that in the next draft of Chameleon’s Dish, because I’ve got an idea), and has been alone for extended periods in the Huntlands, and in wilderness areas on other worlds.
The problem is that Spock himself can’t sense her, and he has been able to since shortly after her conception. It’s torn a jagged void within him, and accelerated the mating cycle, which was already moving into the buildup to inevitability.
The strength of his need to feel his child for himself forces him to try to use all available resources – including the Huntthread – to attempt to reach her. The problem is that he can’t channel so much of the Huntthread, because he is not remotely strong enough, as a telepath.
He knows this, logically – but he can’t stop, either.
It becomes a cycle. The need for Tisira fuels pon farr’s advance; pon farr’s advance intensifies his need for his child. Eventually, this will become a catastrophic loop.
This interlude actually IS an effort to stave of the onslaught of madness. On Kiral McCoy’s advice, he is answering the desire, while there is a space of time to do so, to distract from the need for the child, and also so that the sexual and telerotic tension will not, maybe be quite so intense when the need becomes implacable.
But the truth is that pon farr is a vital and inescapable part of his life, and, although it isn’t always the driving force for every story, I can’t write a sweeping, decades long saga of his life, and ignore that huge sehlat plunked down in the middle of the room….
You might really enjoy Spock’s Genesis story, (it might be called Perchance to Dream), which I will be posting from in July, as I CampNaNo it and Niaan’s Genesis (from the long, long ago drafts, but much altered, now).
There is also a significant chunk of To Be or Not to Be that happens post- pon farr, and deals with other complications…OK, including Zarabeth, but still…no ‘have-to’ there.
Are you ever sorry you introduced me to that guy with the ears?! If you could go back, would you still? Nosy minds wanna know.
And, by the way, I am starting to have story ideas about T’Pol, too, because she is awesome! =)
Eden
*laughs* No, I wouldn’t go back. Too much awesome came of it in both directions.
However, I still contest that it is because you are you that you dwell as you do on those aspects of Spock’s Vulcan-ness as much as you do.
Were you more involved in the scientific side, you might be writing about how he was working with other Vulcan scientists to try and find a way to amplify his telepathic abilities (and find a way to recover his daughter in a more physical sense),…
Were you more politically minded, you might be writing more about how the Federation or Vulcan Council feel as if they’ve invested too much time/energy (or not) in helping this man and his family… (after all, it’s a large galaxy and the “powers that be” have a lot more on their minds than the Enterprise personnel)….
You are a romantic (no insult meant!) and you ♥ Spock. You will write about Spock and love in its many forms.
That is what I meant.
And yeah, T’Pol is awesome. I really loved Enterprise.
shanjeniah
Eden,
Truth is, I’ve broadened my range a bit in this story, although it doesn’t show in the excerpt, maybe. Spock does try to work with the Enterprise science team to analyze the device and the lab – that is, for reasons not yet revealed, non-productive. Because he is soulwounded and his physiology is preparing for pon farr, it would not be safe (maybe for anyone!) to amplify his telepathic abilities, and, instead, Kiral McCoy had resorted to trying to dampen them in ways that will limit his need to reach for Tisira, while not interfering overmuch in the telerotic bond with Niaan.
Most of the novel is concerned with his attempts to find Tisira in a physical sense, and,as the Ambassador, he plls strings and, at times, outright blackmail to make things happen that might not have, else.It was a Starfleet experiment that caused the accident, and the Ambassador is rather without inhibitions…
Still, beneath it all, this is a love story (much more than a sex story, mating imperatives notwithstanding). It’s the lengths a father will go to for a child, and how much a couple can bear, and the ways people can be hurt or healed through the bonds of love….
It was a lot of fun towrite, and, hopefully, also to read.
And I’m glad you wouldn’t go back, since Spock is a part of me, and, now, so is T’Pol. Her turn is coming…. =)
Eden
I think it’s the limits of the form here and the fact that having read so many versions of this story from you as you’ve broadened your Star Trek world-base, I need to set aside certain preconceived notions about the directions your stories will take.
I think Niian came through wonderfully. I’m getting a bit used to the idea of McCoy being the Kiral, but I can see how it happened. (Though I confess, I really would have loved to see McCoy step out from behind the shadows of both Kirk and Spock a bit more –in general…not just your story here).
Have fun with it! Your stories should sing to you. That’s how they reach other ears (eyes) too.
shanjeniah
Eden,
I have had exactly the same trouble with my preconceptions about YOUR stories, because I have seen them in so many incarnations.
Like everything else, I think we will figure out a way to muddle through. And I imagine it will be fascinating to see where things aren’t as we expected they’d be – an added plus.
I can understand you wanting McCoy to come out into the light…but I don’t think HE wants that. It was a good life these two interwoven families were living when it came unhinged…but he does get a few really good scenes with Rachyl, and he is not passive in this story (or several others…he actually, as it turns out, has a long history of standing up for Spock in this way, with strength and a great sesne of purpose.
Eden
♥
We’ll muddle through–we pretty much always do, and usually (I at least) find that I’m far happier that I did than I thought I would be.
You may be right… McCoy never was one to force the world to notice him either intentionally (eg Kirk) or innately (eg Spock). He kind “just was”… that element of balance.